Please continue to hold...

"So what other homework do you need to get done before tomorrow?"

"Umm, just a sec..." (always a bad sign)

[Andy disappears down the hallway. It could be to the bathroom. It could just as easily be to finish reading the thickest Harry Potter novel she can find.]

... (time passes)

... (more time passes)

"Andy???"

"Just a sec!..."

... (see above, re: time passing)

"Aaaaaandy???"

[Beep!] "Thank you for contacting Your Child. We value your parenting. Due to unusually high levels of teenagerhood, we are unable to personally respond to your parenting at this time. But please continue to hold, and one of your children will answer your pathetic attempt at getting our attention as soon as soon as possible. Or maybe never. If you wish to leave a message, please do so after the beep..."