Roadkill on the Infobahn Date: Sat, 9 Sep 95 10:24:00 EDT From: David Cohn To: psinging@psyche.mit.edu Subject: "Privateers" filk As promised to the psinging gang, the unedited doggerel I imposed on the group last night. Of dubious origin, so standard disclaimers apply: some assembly required, batteries not included, do not play on or around, any resemblance to a personal opinion is strictly your own imagination... -dac ---------------------------------------------------------------------- (to the tune of "Barrett's Privateers") Oh the year was 1995 How I wish I had a T-1 line! When a memo came down and the boss said "Get this company up on the internet" refrain: God damn them all, I was told The software would be "plug and go" Put in the disk, and turned it on... Now it's a smoking mess and I can't log on I'm roadkill on the infobahn Boss said the code was set to run How I wish I had a T-1 line! 'Cept a few routines that I'd have to hack In FORTRAN on our Univac The 1108 was a sickening sight How I wish I had a T-1 line! It had vacuum tubes and a punch card bin And when you turned it on it made the lights go dim I looked at the code that we'd been sold How I wish I had a T-1 line! It took 86 meg and a CD drive And it ran on Windows'95 I found a path through ftp How I wish I had a T-1 line! But our modem ran at twenty four K And to download the file took us two whole days At last I got the code compiled How I wish I had a T-1 line! But the screen went blank when I hit return The mainframe caught fire and began to burn So here I sit as a sysadmin How I wish I had a T-1 line! I've seen more pain than a man deserves And my boss just called up CompuServe... -"Doc Pablo"